A healthy relationship is a balance between “taking” and “giving. Unfortunately, not everyone adheres to it. Realizing in time that you’re being used means saving yourself a lot of stress and precious time. In this article, we’ve compiled nine signs of an unhealthy relationship. If you realize at least one of these points about your partner, think about it. Perhaps it’s time for a change (in some cases, a drastic one).
Blaming for past mistakes is the order of the day.
Mistakes are inherent to everyone. Remind them every time, in order to cause guilt another person – this is manipulation pure and simple. If your partner loves this trick, know that his goal – to get what he needs without looking back at you.
Your interests are not a reason to talk.
Does your partner excitedly talk about his hobbies, but as soon as he talks about your hobbies, it quickly turns out that he has to go to work/train/get his own stuff? This is another wake-up call. In a healthy relationship, everyone’s interests play a big part. And it doesn’t matter if they involve piloting airplanes, crocheting, or conquering the 8,000-meter mountains.
“A partner can continue a relationship out of habit or because he’s comfortable with it. He may see you as a wonderful hostess or a secretary or a psychologist. But not a lover.”
Your self-esteem tends to zero.
Relationships – it’s not just a joint vacation, sex or shared budget. First of all, a relationship – it is to help each other in development. Knowing their strengths and knowing how to work with flaws builds a healthy self-esteem. And the task of partners is to support each other along the way. If you have forgotten the last time you heard from the other half of your pluses, but you can endlessly enumerate the cases when you are told about your own minuses, run. You are being used.
Your family is worried about you.
We often have our heads in the clouds and idealize the partner. Other people can not fool – they look at our relationship from the outside, and the option “rose-colored glasses” they are not available. So their opinion is worthy of at least consideration. If mom and friends are trying to get through to you and say that the light from your eyes are not so radiant, listen. Better yet, ask them why they think so. Facts will help prove or disprove their point.
The partner claims “it’s better for everyone.”
In any scenario, the partner insists on the decision he wants with the phrase “it’s better for all” and no evidence to back up his words? It is possible that there is a unique person who knows everything about the structure of the world and knows how to calculate all the outcomes. But it is likely that everything is not so great. Partner, achieving a result with the help of such words, he manipulates you. Ask him to argue his point of view. If the answer can be equated to “Oh, everything,” you know what to do.
The partner is not interested in your victories and defeats
Your partner’s indifference to your ups and downs indicates only one thing – he is not interested in you. Partner may continue the relationship out of habit or because he is so comfortable. He may see you as a wonderful hostess, secretary or psychologist. But not a lover. It is unlikely you are satisfied with this state of affairs.
Your partner is not ready to help you.
Not all of the issues we can solve independently, and not always your partner can help us. The problem occurs when he does not want to help. Not at all. In all situations. If you notice that any request for help is rejected by the other half, you know – it is a sign that you are being used.
Your “no” does not play a role.
There are cases where refusals can and should be ignored. But they are unique. If your “no” – an empty sound, and the actions of the partner looks more and more like violence, put an end to the relationship. Immediately.
You are being forced to make the “right choice.”
Labels “right” and “wrong” – one of the ways to instill in children the norms accepted in society or consistent with moral principles. A similar method in adult relationships is also nurturing. But it is not for the good. It is an attempt to make the other person comfortable for themselves. If your partner sins in imposing such attitudes, think about it. Perhaps you are being skillfully manipulated.